I was so proud of myself this morning.  I started my day the right way. I hit the gym to get a good workout in. I sweated buckets and felt my body getting stronger.  I even smiled at myself in the mirror as I watched me trying to be cute while doing a combination of squats and lunges with the rest of the class.  I left the gym feeling healthy and couldn’t wait to enjoy a nice breakfast.  I got home and cooked scrambled egg whites with 7-grain toast and brewed a nice cup of decaf.  I was on a roll.  Showered, washed my hair, got dressed and felt like a million bucks.  I took my vitamins and decided to head out to run a few errands before the day got away from me.  I spent more time out than I had anticipated so my tummy started to growl—good thing I had an apple in my bag.  So I cleaned it to the core and continued to shop.  But by the time I returned home I was starving again.  I wanted to eat something healthy to keep in line with my diet blueprint but I was too hungry to cook.  I needed sustenance immediately lol.  I had the best intentions until I saw these puppies!   TEMPTATION!!!!

I don’t have to tell you that I lost the battle. And to think my day started off with such promise. Tomorrow tomorrow there is always tomorrow…

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This morning I woke up feeling a little homesick for Tennessee. I wanted to see the familiar and touch things considered “old hat”. It’s been 7 years since I traded biscuits & grits for lox & bagels.  And although I don’t regret it one bit there are times when I have my “moments’ and today was one of those days.  I finished dressing for the gym, grabbed my ipod and ran out the door.   I was standing on the corner for about 15 minutes before an available cab came along. Just as I walked towards it, someone else jumped into it first.

Ugggh!!

Luckily for me another one came along soon after.  I jumped in and turned the volume up on my I-pod only to realize the driver was yelling trying to have a conversation with me.

Ugggh!

I just wanted to listen to my “homesick” playlist in peace.  But I indulged him in a bit of chit chat.  After reaching the gym I fumbled through my purse to find my credit card. “The machine is broken. Sorry” he said with a smirk.  Ugggh!  Good thing I had a few dollars on me to pay the fare.  As I entered the gym I was no longer in the mood to work out so I did an about face and walked out the door.  Now what am I going to do?

Ugggh!

I decided to grab a cup of coffee.  And as I crossed the street towards the café of my choice, a biker almost mowed me down.  I was lucky enough to have dodge the whizzing cyclist but not so lucky in dodging the splash of water from the car that followed.  My shoes were soaked (can you guess what kind of shoes I was wearing?)

Ugggh!!

I shouted out loud in frustration of the crazy morning I was having.  And then I laughed out loud.  Now I remember why I love this city.  There is no other place like it in the world.   So in honor of my day, I have officially dubbed it the “Ugggh” capitol of the world— literally and figuratively  As for the sickness I was feeling this morning, a few Uggghs and 2 cups of coffee seemed to have cured me of those blues and not a moment too soon.

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You ever have one of those days when you just feel terrible? Nothing fits right, your hair looks a mess no matter what you do to it and you have a zit! — no one sees it, but you know it’s there lol.  It’s days like this that you wish you had your own personal cheering squad to greet you when you wake on those challenging days.  They would follow you around all day and play the perfect theme song to lighten your spirits. Or wouldn’t it be great to run off to some far away paradise where no one knows you. You can wear your most comfy clothes, leave the make-up at home, put your hair up in a bun and let your tummy hang out hehehe.   Ok, snap out of it!  None of these are options.  You’ve got to go to work. The kids have practice and you are the designated chauffeur.  You have an important dinner party to attend.  You have a date with the guy you’ve been eyeing.   For all those scenarios you can’t get out of when you feel a hot mess, this is for you. Repeat the following 3x, slap a smile on your face and keep it moving

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This morning I woke up feeling a little homesick. I wanted to see the familiar and touch things considered “old hat”. I had to laugh at myself.  You see, I have fought and struggled my entire life for this moment that I am living so it’s kinda crazy that I feel this way. And though my roots are northern, I’m a true southern girl born and raised. I will save the details of that story for another time. But for the most part, my transplantation here has been fairly uncomplicated. I have settled in quite nicely and have developed a love for the city’s infectious energy and interesting people.  But there are those times when the smallest thing can make me miss the calm stillness of the farm where I was raised. That small thing smacked me in the face this morning in the form of a song. As I finished dressing for work, I grabbed my ipod and ran out the door to catch a cab headed for work. Listening to a bit of country music I began to reminisce on family and friends. Almost in tears, I gazed out the window at the busy streets crowed with people starting their day.   I wondered ‘if something were to happen to me would any of these people care?’  But there was no time to even ponder this thought because the cab driver was yelling to me that this was my stop. I apologized for not paying attention. He mumbled something I couldn’t understand, waved his hand at me then grabbed the fair.  I laughed to myself as I got out and thought just another reason why I love this city.  As for the sickness I was feeling, my morning cup of Joe from the bodega seems to have saved me and not a moment too soon.

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When spring rang in, I decided it was time to start running again. I have always loved to run and my preference is the pavement of sidewalks over the humdrum of a treadmill. There’s something about the wind in your face, the sights you see along the way and the “wow look at her go” look on people’s faces that filled me in a way I can’t describe. Before moving to New York, running was part of my daily routine. I would start each morning with a 2-3 mile outdoor run and bask in exhilaration as I sprinted the last few meters. Oh how I’ve missed that! My fear of running NYC streets, parks and the erratic driving habits of cab drivers put a damper on my love of running.  Well after years of debating (yes, years lol), I decided it was time to lace up my dusty Saucony’s and put some rubber to pavement. Lucky for me, I did manage to keep up my gym habits so I didn’t pass out after block 25!  I was so proud of myself until I thought back to the NYC marathon and I quickly got a reality check. I remembered standing in the cold watching these incredible beings doing what seemed to be impossible to most of us. I was awestruck.  But nothing moved me more than watching the physically challenged participants give their heart and soul to finish the race. The pain of the grueling commitment was visible on their face as was their determination. I was overwhelmed and moved to tears. In an instant, I knew I would never be the same.  I have lived my life anxious to hear the roar of people cheering for me. It’s been one of the reasons for my involvement in team sports as well as motivation to climb higher in my career. But as I watched the race, I experienced the joy of BEING a cheerleader for others; people I didn’t even know and would probably never see again. It was magical for my soul. I wanted to connect with them. I wanted them to know how proud I was of them for accomplishing such a tremendous task. So I screamed as loud as I could and clapped til my hands hurt.  I wanted them to feel that special electricity I had been chasing my whole life. As I stood there in the cold, I felt the warmth of their spirits as they dashed passed me. I dreamed of what it must feel like to cross that finish line and the rush of emotions that overwhelm you as you remember the rough road it took to get there.  In that moment, I was changed.

So now when I lace up my running shoes and think of how my lungs will soon burn like hell and my knees, quads and calves will beg for mercy—I think about those who didn’t quit, those who could only dream of running and those who couldn’t see the road and yet ran anyway.  And this is my inspiration—that and the hope that someone somewhere is cheering for me

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